Veronica's Passover Story

Hello, my gorgeous fans of all religions! Many of you may not know, but I have some Jewish heritage that I am very proud of. Every year we sit around and celebrate passover. We eat some matzah, we read the Haggada, eat some bitter herbs, it's a good time. The best part of the evening is when I sit all the little jewish boys and girls down and tell them the passover story:

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful woman who put her even more beautiful, redhead, baby daughter, named Veronica into a basket to save her from the Egyptians. As luck would have it, the basket floated into the private beach of the Egyptian Queen, and she took in the beautiful Veronica as her own. Veronica grew us as an Egyptian Princess and was loved by all, but her not as beautiful sister, Egyptia, hated her and resented that she wasn't actually royalty and was just saved from the private beach.

Finally, Veronica started to realize that she was different than her Egyptian family. Unlike them, she often craved Gefilte Fish and Charoset, but she also just loved Broadway musicals, and wanted her unborn child to grow up to be a doctor. One day, Veronica was out amongst the Jewish slaves and struck up a conversation with an exotically beautiful, big-haired, jewish woman with a tie-dye bandana, who shared her love for Gefilte Fish and Broadway Musicals. Egyptian Princess Veronica realized that she was probably a Jew.

Upon discovering this, she set out to free the Jewish slaves. She begged her sister, Egyptia, who was now ruler of Egypt, to free the slaves, but she refused. Veronica warned her that God would send plagues unless she freed the jews. The plagues came: Mascara shortage, glitter explosions, wigs catching on fire, the original cast recording of Evita ceased to exist, etc. The Evita thing sent Egyptia over the edge and Veronica led the Jews from Egypt, to Florida. The end.

I just LOVE the holidays!